*Disclaimer- The following Commentary is void of political correctness and may contain rude comment. So, if you are an easily offended wussie boy then stop reading. I pull no punches, spare no slander, or fake no funk. I am EXTREME and this from my perspective.
By Coach Tommie Extreme, trainer of champions
Anniversary Shows July 27 and 28, 2007
It certainly has been awhile since my last commentary and much has happened. Those of you, who follow UWC action, know that while the 6th anniversary weekend started out with a bang, it eventually fizzled and died out in regard to AAA. I could blame it all on the discriminatory practices of the UWC, the underhanded tactics of Flex and Nemesis, or even on that walking skid mark Kid Casanova. However, I realize that those aforementioned parties are not to blame. The ones responsible for AAA's shortcomings is none other than the dirty referees that infest our great organization.
The referee's have long had a grudge against the All American Athletics. Perhaps it is because while we were the guys in high school who scored and got chicks, they were the guys who were bored playing with their d**ks. It is apparent that most of the zebra shirts in this organization have a biased opinion against AAA. I demand that the officials stop this prejudicial behavior! Over the course of the anniversary weekend the All American Athletics were harassed more times than Medgar Evers at a white linen sale. I have a few examples that I am sure were caught on tape for UWC home video:
It is ultimately my mission to turn AAA into the champions of tomorrow, but it seems that may be a dying dream unless the discrimination against us comes to a halt. I will be in talks with the Coltster about creating a resolution for this problem as well as gaining some measure of restitution against Mexico's favorite tag team. Until an agreement is finalized, the officials had better be warned that the Athletics are training harder than ever and will not be subject to their prejudices without a fight.
Feasting in Freemont 6-2-2007
In the past few months, I have battled partial paralysis with the motivation that one day AAA would be reunited in full force. That day came at Feast or Famine. During my time "on the shelf", I pondered many things. The thoughts at the forefront of my mind related to AAA and how to further prove our dominance to the fans that seem to not have any idea of how to treat true athletes. AAA should be revered for the excellence that we exude by simply entering the arena. However, the fans deem it necessary to shun our skills because they are jealous. The fans are jealous that they could never be a top tier performer like any member of AAA. The fans' disdain for us has led to many discriminatory business practices to be implemented by UWC officials.
For the opening match, Fremont was treated to an athletic exhibition that has never been seen in that town before. The contest pitted Billy Cool and Terrific Thomas of AAA against the team of Overdrive. The Athletics overcame Overdrive and the referee that they seemingly had in their back pocket. The match was littered with constant double teams and slow counts. If I hadn't been in excruciating pain from overcoming my injuries, I would have slapped some sense into the referee myself. I have to say that Overdrive put up little of a fight in the loss against AAA. We look forward to beating you again.
As the night went on I desperately tried to get Marvelous Mike booked in a match. I was severely upset at the fact that one of the fastest rising stars in wrestling wasn't even scheduled to appear. After being rejected on every request, I decided that it was time to take a stand and right some of the wrongs in the UWC. It just so happened that we would take that stand during the women's title tournament match. Our old enemy Jesse Jordan and newcomer Nikki Dreamer were ready to begin when Marvelous and I protested the sexist nature of the women's title tournament. Upon threatening to sue the UWC, all of the officials came to the ring. Our request was granted as Marvelous was allowed to compete in the match. The progression of the match would show Marvelous Mike's dominance in a division were he is definitely a standout. For the most part, Marvelous withstood a double team attack from Jesse Jordan and Nikki Dreamer. At one point, the two proceeded to strip the clothes from Marvelous and ride him like a birthday pony. It was disgusting. The women's unity was not concrete enough for the parameters of this match though. After hitting a crossbody frogsplash, Jesse was in the process of pinning Marvelous. Nikki Dreamer took advantage of Jesse's vulnerability and caught her in a rolling cradle to get the three count.
Marvelous didn't come out on the winning end of the match, yet wasn't defeated either. This match proved that Marvelous deserves to compete in this division. The main event which was a Battle Royal featured all three active members of AAA. I had thought for sure that a AAA victory was imminent until Kimo entered the ring. Wow, he really did a number on everyone. While I was upset that AAA didn't bring home the win, I am glad that they were not injured by that face painted freak. Kimo tore through the remaining participants as if he were a sex crazed teen tearing into his first Trojan. If success were measured purely by wins and losses then I should be a little perturbed by AAA's performance at Feast or Famine. Alas, in my opinion, success is measured by the accomplishment of goals and the seizing of opportunity at the right time. That being said, I would like to warn Flex Phenom and Nemesis of their ultimate demise. You two losers WILL fall to wrestling's most unpredictable team: The All American Athletics. Tag Team gold here we come.
I am EXTREME, and that's my perspective.
Down… But Not Out!
4-7-2007
Stepping into the C.B. Aycock gymnasium, I knew it was going to be a life changing night. I could never have imagined what exactly it was that would change. In recent weeks, the All American Athletics have been humiliated by their own property, Jesse Jordan, and screwed out of the very contract that kept her in our possession. The purpose of having control over Jesse's contract was to upset her trainer and AAA's sworn enemy, Kid Casanova. Having that power over Jesse Jordan gave AAA the advantage in our ongoing feud with the Kid.
After the unresolved ladder rumble discrepancy, AAA was more focused than ever before on gaining revenge and retrieving Jesse's contract once and for all. With the aid of Grandmaster Gary's 3 point survival challenge, AAA was able to remove one of our opponents for the contract table match that would happen later in the evening. On top of losing to the honorable Sifu and being pummeled by AAA, the Ace of Punk was whipped like a Vietnamese P.O.W. by Commissioner John Colt. I suppose our plan worked because A.O.P. wasn't able to contest for his partner's freedom in the tables match. Kudos to the Grandmaster for another truly captivating victory over the pestilence that infests our great company.
Phase one of my master plan had worked perfectly and I demanded that the people in attendance and all around the wrestling world take notice. In the weeks leading up to Spring Stunner, too much emphasis had been placed on the supposedly "long awaited" return of Flex Phenom. Knowing that his return was going to occur I wanted to prove that AAA is the new revolution in professional wrestling and that dinosaurs like Flex Phenom are things of the past that should be forgotten. Flex accepted my challenge to face AAA's own Silent Assassin Terrific Thomas and immediately realized that he was in over his head. In an effort to save face, Flex attacked me and bloodied my nose; therefore causing the referee to throw the match out. Obviously, the Terrific one would have squashed the legend of Flex Phenom.
After composing my thoughts and getting AAA back on track, we were ready to dominate Kid Cas and retrieve our rightful property, Jesse Jordan. The match was stellar. Marvelous Mike and Billy Cool were working as a well oiled machine against that BBW boy toy, Kid Cas, when Flex entered to substitute for a beaten A.O.P. The action quickly turned in to one of the biggest brawls in recent history. Flex's interference let me know that the feeling I had prior to the event was a feeing of insecurity. I had thought that I had all bases covered. I thought that AAA would be flawless at Spring Stunner. Boy, was I wrong.
During the outside brawl, Billy Cool had been smacked silly with a steel chair by Casanova. I called a timeout and went to check on my injured comrade. While I was attempting to get the Billy Cool to his feet, I received a chair shot that would change my life forever. I felt the cold hard steel slap against my back and then nothing else. According to the rest of AAA, I got back to my feet and went back to ringside after lying unconscious for awhile. They said that I attacked Flex Phenom and that we lost the match. Shortly after entering the locker room area I passed out.
When I awoke, I was here in this hospital bed without the ability to walk. I have become a victim of paralysis, due to Kid Casanova's chair shot. I will return from this injury and will not rest until all of my enemies have received their payback. Kid Casanova, Flex Phenom, and anyone competing in the upcoming tag team title tournament will have their hands full with a vindictive, vengeful, and virile AAA.
Cold Shoulder in Snow Hill
- 3/16/07
After being on a seemingly unstoppable hot streak, the All American Athletics were tested mentally and physically at the Snow Hill Thrill. More than 200 despicable fans turned out to cheer for their hero Kid Casanova, and boo the best thing that has ever happened to professional wrestling: AAA. I am infuriated at the fact that UWC higher ups overruled our beloved commissioner John Colt on several occasions. It is a travesty of justice and will not be tolerated for much longer. The Athletics deserved better than the treatment that they received and I vow to ensure that we receive adequate reparations for the actions of the #1 Stunnas and Team A.I.R.
Previously ranked number five contender for the UWC championship, Marvelous Mike West was forced to square off against the copper toned canker sore Kid Cas in the opening match-up. Undoubtedly Marvelous would have secured the victory had it not been for some one, I am not saying who (Jesse Jordan), drugging Marvelous Mike's athletic drink. I have undeniable proof that the marvelous one was not in complete control of himself and am determined to exact revenge one way or another. Later on in the evening "Vicious" Billy Cool was pitted against Cold Cash D in an impromptu contest. Now let me get this straight. Cold Cash has been M.I.A. for three months comes back and is allowed to face the premier high flyer in the UWC. What a load of donkey poo! Cold Cash was lucky that I didn't get the chance to finish what I started after I attacked him during the match. He had better take his muscles and go home, because AAA will strike again.
So two matches scheduled by UWC officials that were meant to humiliate AAA turned out just as planned. It may have been an unwinnable war; but AAA ,like the true Americans that we are, pressed on in the face of adversity. AAA had one goal that night. It wasn't to make fools of the #1 Stunnas, it was to secure Jesse Jordan's contract and prove that she was our property. Yet, again we were screwed. Two members of AAA had valiantly fought there way through the ladder rumble and earned a spot as one half of the final four competitors who would vie for Jesse's contract. Just as the Athletics had the match won, Kid Cas pulls one of his glorified stunt maneuvers and severely endangers the life of Marvelous Mike and Billy Cool. To make matters worse, while I was on the outside of the ring tending to a drugged Marvelous Mike, Jesse Jordan decided to interfere in the match and retrieve her own contract. Apparently, the idiot officials didn't know that she was not a legal competitor and declared her the winner.
UWC officials' abuse of power against AAA is intolerable. I have appealed that the decision of the ladder rumble be over turned due to the drugging incident and that the Athletics be awarded Jesse's contract. Regardless of the outcome, Jesse Jordan will have hell to pay. The Athletics are more focused than ever and are salivating at the chance to gain a victory at Spring Stunner. The first ever UWC tag team tournament is also coming up and AAA is guaranteeing a victory in that tournament. Tag teams of the UWC, you are the sprigs of grass popping up for the new season, and the Athletics are the lawntractor that will mow through your chlorophyllic @$$.
Conquering K-Town
Two months ago AAA ventured to Kinston, NC confident that we would walk out of December Heat with our hands held high and the fans bowing at our feet. On that fateful, night in the nation’s most despicable city, the Athletics were mugged, injured, and cheated out of what was rightfully theirs: a victory. In the time since, the Athletics have worked harder and trained smarter. The Athletics have gained the tools necessary for survival in jungle that is the UWC. Consistency and teamwork has allowed for the Athletics to make a mockery of one of the most revered wrestlers on the UWC roster. Kid Cas has surely tasted the wrath of the Athletics. In back to back matches, the Athletics have defeated Cas and whatever partner he seems to have for the evening. Most recently, the Ace of Punk has become a member of the “I got my @$$ handed to me by the Athletics” club.
After the victories over Cas, he and his band of misfit wrestlers have thought it best to try and injure the athletics from competition. I have been the victim of many behind the back attacks, yet strive to ensure that the Athletics become bigger, stronger, and faster. Cas obviously has no true allegiance to those whom he partners with. On several occasions I have seen him toss his own “allies” out of the ring and to the outside in an attempt to disorient AAA. While his plans always seem to blossom somehow, I am proven true to the fact that his true allegiance lies only with himself. One day you will be all alone Cas, and the Athletics will be waiting to give you what you deserve.
It was a real honor to have Commissioner Colt’s blessing going into CrackDown in K-Town. Colt told me that although he may not be there that the Athletics will surely be in his heart while he is away on business. Well, dear commissioner our victory over Cas and that turd burglar the A.O.P. was dedicated to you. Colt will return next month and we hopefully will receive a judgment on the fate of Jesse Jordan. Not only did she defy direct orders for the Commissioner, but she didn’t do what he told her to do either. I suggest that she be punished severely. Oh, how I would love to hear her scream as her body contorts in the torture rack of the Athletics own Marvelous Mike.
Lastly, I would like extend my gratitude to Grandmaster Gary “The Hammer”, or Sifu as he is known by his legions of followers, for showcasing his lightning quick skills for the cracked out fans in Kinston. That was undoubtedly a show that they will never forget, as long as they happened to be sober. Sifu, I am continuously impressed by your ability and lighting quick reflexes. You are proof positive that Hammerobics is the best fitness program on the market today.
Until next time…this has been
EXTREME
The Sweet Taste of Revenge
A big AAA welcome goes out to our newest member, "Vicious" Billy Cool. The Cool One hails from Cool Springs, NC and has an awesome ability for high flying maneuvers that will make him an excellent addition to AAA. Terrific Thomas has been on the injured list as of late with a torn ACL. Thomas was injured last month in a handicap match against Cold Cash D. His injury will require him to be out for a yet undetermined amount of time. All of the Athletics are cheering for a smooth recovery.
After December Heat, I was furious and ready to get even with UWC's resident pretty boy. Kid Casanova, I warned you to be prepared. Yet, you took my threats a little too lightly. Last time we met, you had the upperhand thanks to your body builder buddy and the use of a steel chair. This time at Guts and Glory, you had no Cold Cash or your trusty chair to rely on.
Guts and Glory was definitely AAA's moment of greatness. In addition to adding "Vicious" to our stable, we also got a win over Kid Cas and Jesse Jordan. Due to AAA's victory, Jesse Jordan has been forced to align herself with Commissioner Colt's Crew. I plan to help Colt make her life a living hell in any way possible. As for Cas, this isn't over and will never be. As long as you are in the UWC, you will have an enemy in the Athletics.
I would also like to thank Grand Master Gary Lee Seagal for providing AAA with a copy of his latest workout: Hammerobics. The Athletics have incorporated the Grand Master's methods into their 100+ hours a week training schedule, and it is working wonders. On a side note I would like to send a special message to the piece of human excrement named the Ace of Punk. A.O.P. you are freakin' lucky that the Grand Master put you out of your misery prior to you scheduled match. If you had faced AAA, we would have beaten you like a street walker with syphilis.
All things said, Guts and Glory was a major success for AAA. Things are heating up in the UWC and the Athletics are gaining notoriety. Like it or Love it, AAA is the best thing going today!
Chicks, Chumps, and Chairs 12-5-06
December Heat was without a doubt one of the hottest wrestling events of the year. The only thing hotter than the UWC right now is me. It seems as if respect is a tradition long forgotten. The women of the UWC have no sense of customary mannerisms at all, except for the lovely Roxxy Michaels. Of all the witches that I have come into contact with in this organization over the past few months, none of them have the respect to stay out of the way when the men are wrestling. Sure they can go out there and shake their booty like they are looking to pick up a few dollars, but can they wrestle? I have yet to see any semblance of professionalism from these dames. For example, I was merely attempting to follow my Commissioner’s orders, when out of nowhere Felicia O. slapped the $#%! out of me. Luckily, I held my composure on that occasion. Bigger things were in store for the All American Athletics and I didn’t want to jeopardize that. Even though her slap went unanswered at December Heat, Felicia had better watch her back because she is going to get what is coming to her and that’s the real deal.
Everyone knows that the UWC has the most passionate fans this side of the Mason Dixon Line, but it got down right ridiculous at December Heat. First, the crowd had no respect for AAA when we came out. Second, They cheered for those hooligans, the #1 Stunnas, like they had found Osama Bin Laden. Lastly, the freaking crowd broke down the barricade in an attempt to receive a payoff from Cold Cash D. It was pathetic. The local yokels in K-town booed AAA only because they know that we are better than them. In the end it was the fans who truly caused AAA to lose their match at December Heat. If they had any respect they would have kept their voice to a whisper, AAA would have been able to concentrate and obviously would have defeated that chump, Cold Cash D.
Soon after the fans almost raided the ring, Commissioner Colt made sure that the playing field was still even by allowing his Mega Destroyer to assist AAA. Although the crowd was behind their beloved hometown hero, Cold Cash, AAA still managed to gain the advantage as the match progressed. It wasn’t until another out of place female had to be restrained that AAA’s dominance began to falter. While restraining Jesse Jordan from interfering on Cold Cash’s behalf, several of the fans tried to maul me. I was lucky to get away with my million dollar good looks still intact. Yet, that one distraction caused Cold Cash to get the win. To top things off, after the match was over and as AAA was preparing to leave with dignity, Kid Cas came out swinging a steel chair like a freaking maniac. Now, my doc has always told that I have a few screws loose, but the Kid is certifiable. Too bad he doesn’t realize what he has gotten himself into. The days of harassing us are over Cas. Next time we meet you had better bring your chick, your chump, and your chair because you are going to need all of them to defeat AAA.
I am EXTREME, and that’s my perspective.